Katherine Seeber was a perpetrator of domestic violence…and she was a victim of domestic violence, more than once. But she  wasn’t the only victim…in fact I don’t think we can even count how many people’s lives have been tragically impacted by the multiple domestic violence events in her life alone.

Reading yesterday’s  Saratogian news article about the murder  of Katherine Seeber, I am so struck by how much violence and how much suffering has orbited this family in the past decade. From her part in the brutal murder of her helpless 91 year-old grandmother (she states her co-conspirator in the murder was an abusive partner who “had a hold on her life”) to several abusive relationships, some even after receiving domestic violence counseling in prison, to her own death at the hands of an abuser, there has been a roller coaster of violence and despair. The ups and downs, courtroom machinations and senselessness of all this violence  leaves me shaking my head. But I can’t shake away how much this family and their friends has suffered…and continues to do so.

And they’re not the only ones. The effects of relationship abuse aren’t limited just to the partners in the abusive relationship .Recently I stumbled on a website that lists news stories about domestic violence homicides in the US.This isn’t pleasant reading; I can’t think of anything more horrific or voyeuristic  than reading the details of multiple murders. But take just five minutes and read it anyway.  Why? Because  it really makes an impact. We’ve all  seen these stories in our newspapers and after a while we become desensitized.

When I read about  one domestic homicide after another, it strikes me how pervasive and tragic this problem is.We have to… I have to… do whatever I can to end relationship abuse. Because I know that while most abusive relationships don’t end in death, some do, and we can’t predict which ones. When I read these news stories back to back I understand what the blog’s author means, “When is society going to realize intimate violence makes victims of us all?”