Wellspring - Ending relationship and sexual abuse in Saratoga County


News & Events

Drinking, drugs or wife beating… which will it be?

Oh Pete Rose. He should have just left it at 'I screwed up. I should have done better.I should have told the truth.' During a radio chat with John Phillips, Rose was lamenting his compulsion to bet on games that cost him his career. He opined that if he'd picked a better vice... say wife beating... he would have been given a second chance. But gambling- no wiggle room on forgiveness there.

It's  a sad commentary on our social values that assaulting your partner is seen as  a forgivable little vice. Pete, I appreciate your willingness to pass along hard earned lessons about honesty to young athletes, but I think you struck out as a role model once again.

Drinking, drugs or wife beating… which will it be?

Oh Pete Rose. He should have just left it at 'I screwed up. I should have done better.I should have told the truth.' During a radio chat with John Phillips, Rose was lamenting his compulsion to bet on games that cost him his career. He opined that if he'd picked a better vice... say wife beating... he would have been given a second chance. But gambling- no wiggle room on forgiveness there.

It's  a sad commentary on our social values that assaulting your partner is seen as  a forgivable little vice. Pete, I appreciate your willingness to pass along hard earned lessons about honesty to young athletes, but I think you struck out as a role model once again.

Want to Feel Better Today… Try One of These

Helping others fosters happiness. If you want to be happy, do something to make someone else happy. it's that simple... and the effects are long-lasting. Need some ideas? Here are 25 to get you started.

I have a silly ritual. Whenever I see a penny on the ground, if it's tails up I flip it over and leave it
there. I like to think that the next person who happens by will not only be one cent richer, but their walk will be a bit jauntier because they've found a lucky penny. And because accepting what's given to you with grace is also important, if the penny is head-ups up, it's mine and I say thanks to the universe for offering me a small blessing. Now I don't have any superstitions that a penny wrong side up is bad luck (a penny is a penny); but I like to think that a tiny gesture may bring a smile to someone's face.

Need more reasons to help others? Did you know volunteering is linked to better health, happiness, self-esteem, and even longevity. One in three adults in the US volunteer, giving us one of the world's highest rates of volunteerism. And according to US News and World report, "communities with lots of volunteers are more stable and better places to live, which in turn further boosts volunteerism." . Click on the link to US News to find out how helping others makes us happy.

Want to Feel Better Today… Try One of These

Helping others fosters happiness. If you want to be happy, do something to make someone else happy. it's that simple... and the effects are long-lasting. Need some ideas? Here are 25 to get you started.

I have a silly ritual. Whenever I see a penny on the ground, if it's tails up I flip it over and leave it
there. I like to think that the next person who happens by will not only be one cent richer, but their walk will be a bit jauntier because they've found a lucky penny. And because accepting what's given to you with grace is also important, if the penny is head-ups up, it's mine and I say thanks to the universe for offering me a small blessing. Now I don't have any superstitions that a penny wrong side up is bad luck (a penny is a penny); but I like to think that a tiny gesture may bring a smile to someone's face.

Need more reasons to help others? Did you know volunteering is linked to better health, happiness, self-esteem, and even longevity. One in three adults in the US volunteer, giving us one of the world's highest rates of volunteerism. And according to US News and World report, "communities with lots of volunteers are more stable and better places to live, which in turn further boosts volunteerism." . Click on the link to US News to find out how helping others makes us happy.

It’s a National Problem that’s Only Getting Worse

It's basic, waking up and knowing nothing bad is going to happen to you.
 
There is elder abuse occurring in every zip code in the US.
 
 
Elder abuse is a national problem that's only going to get worse with the aging of the population.
 
Those are the opening word of this eye-opening video about elder abuse. As the documentary shows, family members and caregivers are often perpetrators of elder abuse... and the it's often difficult to identify when an elder is being abused. An elder may become a prisoner in their own home... captive and abused or neglected by a child or grandchild.
 
To identify it, we first need to understand what it is. Watch this video; it's the first step toward ending elder abuse. We owe it to them.
 
 

2 Sons Plead Guillty to Murdering their Parents… Within the Same Week


Just one week ago the Saratogian covered the story about a son who bludgeoned his mother... and I remarked we're fortunate these types of crimes are rare in our area. Maybe not as rare as we'd hope... today's Saratogian reports that a son in Rensselaer County pled yesterday guilty to bludgeoning his mother and father.

Any death due to abuse is one death too many. But let's not be complacent about elder abuse until there's a horrific incident like the two that have been adjudicated in the past week. Many more elders live in fear, are neglected, are financially exploited... but we're unaware because their stories do not become headline news.

Earlier this year Leadership Saratoga explored the issue of elder abuse in Saratoga County and launched an initiative to increase public awareness. Click below to hear what Jackie Hakes learned as she participate in the project.



What can you do?
Educate yourself about elder abuse.

Be aware of vulnerable elders in your community. Check in on elder family members and be alert for signs of neglect, financial control, or isolation. Often we assume that as long as there's a family member looking out for them, all is well. It may not occur to us that the family member may be abusing them... but 90% of elders are abused by family members.

Let's also remember that most family members who care for an elder are concerned, kind and supportive; they are doing an act of love. So you can also show your support by offering caregivers respite. Even an hour or two is a welcome break.

Tomorrow;
In their words. Stories  from elders about how they were abused.

Related Posts:





Skip the Sale; Don’t Buy the Economy Size

Here's a parenting message you may not have heard . 
This information could save a teen's life.

Seasoned hikers know he importance of carrying a light pack. An old hiker's adage is "An ounce on the scale is a pound on the trail." I've known several hikers who've found that that a few pounds and an extra decade or two also take their toll on the joints after a couple of days on the trail. And some of those hikers have ended up in the emergency department with stomach and liver problems from accidently popping too much Tylenol to combat aches  resulting from the nexus of middle age and mountain miles. So I'm well aware that acetaminophen can be dangerous when misused. But until today I thought the risks were from accidental overdose. I never imagined this medicine cabinet staple might be the drug of choice for a suicide attempt.


The Times Union's Claire Hughes, reports that despondent teens often turn to acetaminophen when attempting suicide because it's readily available in sufficient quantities, inexpensive, and  right there in the family medicine cabinet. Her report quotes Dr. Heather Long of Albany Medical Center Hospital, "Acetaminophen is the most frequent pharmacological agent taken in intentional overdoses." 

Desperate actions are sometimes impulsive; don't have supplies on hand, unlocked that could be lethal.




Skip the Sale; Don’t Buy the Economy Size

Here's a parenting message you may not have heard . 
This information could save a teen's life.

Seasoned hikers know he importance of carrying a light pack. An old hiker's adage is "An ounce on the scale is a pound on the trail." I've known several hikers who've found that that a few pounds and an extra decade or two also take their toll on the joints after a couple of days on the trail. And some of those hikers have ended up in the emergency department with stomach and liver problems from accidently popping too much Tylenol to combat aches  resulting from the nexus of middle age and mountain miles. So I'm well aware that acetaminophen can be dangerous when misused. But until today I thought the risks were from accidental overdose. I never imagined this medicine cabinet staple might be the drug of choice for a suicide attempt.


The Times Union's Claire Hughes, reports that despondent teens often turn to acetaminophen when attempting suicide because it's readily available in sufficient quantities, inexpensive, and  right there in the family medicine cabinet. Her report quotes Dr. Heather Long of Albany Medical Center Hospital, "Acetaminophen is the most frequent pharmacological agent taken in intentional overdoses." 

Desperate actions are sometimes impulsive; don't have supplies on hand, unlocked that could be lethal.




Men’s Issue… Women’s Issue? Not the Point


Statistics. Sometimes they reveal the truth. Sometimes they obfuscate. Sometimes they're just confusing.  

Over the past few days I've blogged about male domestic violence victims and the unique challenges they face. I've also blogged about domestic homicide. For years domestic violence advocates have stated that domestic violence disproportionately affects women. Some people question that assertion... and cite valid data. In a landmark study, The National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey, notes that 53% of persons who had experienced physical violence in an intimate relationship were men. Whoa… so is this a women’s issue or a men’s issue?  

The study cautions about making assumptions across groups based on one single data point, because “the contrasts between the experiences of men and women sharpen when we look at the specific forms of IPV, the severity of the physical violenceexperienced, and the impact of the violence:

·         While 92% of male victims experienced onlyphysical violence, 36% of women experienced more than one form, including 12.5% of female victims who experienced all three (rape, physical violence, and stalking by an intimate partner). 

·         1 in 4 women have been the victim of severe physical violence by an intimate partner, while 1 in 7 men have experienced the same.  

·         1in 6 women have been stalked during their lifetime, compared to 1 in 19 men.  

·         Over 80% of women who reported rape, physical violence, and/ or stalking by an intimate partner also reported one or more negative impacts (e.g., fear, injury, missed school/ work, etc), whereas, about 35% of men who experienced these forms of violence by an intimate reported an impact. 

So severity of abuse and the impact of the violence factor in. Are there gender differences when we look at the issue with these factors in mind? Or as the NYS Division of Criminal Justice Services 2012 reports, of the:
104 female homicide victims 57.7% were domestic homicides, compared to
532 male homicide victims, only 2.6% were attributable to  domestic violence. 

Michael Virtanen of the Chronicle sums it up the report more succinctly, 

“ the person most likely to kill a woman in NYS is
 her partner or ex.” 

So is this a women’s or a men’s issue? That’s not the point. It’s a social issue that affects us all.

No one deserves to be abused.
All victims deserve access to support services.
Let’s work together toward a community free from relationship or sexual abuse... for all people.


X