Wellspring - Ending relationship and sexual abuse in Saratoga County


News & Events

Everlasting Love… Step by Step

What  do you do when  your happily ever after ends in divorce after 16 years together? Do you replay over and over the coulda. woulda, and shoulda scenarios...and to what end? For Gerald Rogers that introspection evolved into a touching letter about how to truly love someone. These lessons learned the hard way, are a reminder that love grows when we nurture it. It's great advice for newlyweds, but also a wonderful reminder to anyone in a relationship.

Gerald Rogers' words of wisdom are heartfelt and touching. Number 20 pretty much sums it up, but the nineteen preceding tips provide the step by step manual. It's written for guys, but applies equally to both genders. If everyone followed this sage advice, we wouldn't need agencies like DVRC. Thank you Gerald Rogers for this eloquent advice.

Everlasting Love… Step by Step

What  do you do when  your happily ever after ends in divorce after 16 years together? Do you replay over and over the coulda. woulda, and shoulda scenarios...and to what end? For Gerald Rogers that introspection evolved into a touching letter about how to truly love someone. These lessons learned the hard way, are a reminder that love grows when we nurture it. It's great advice for newlyweds, but also a wonderful reminder to anyone in a relationship.

Gerald Rogers' words of wisdom are heartfelt and touching. Number 20 pretty much sums it up, but the nineteen preceding tips provide the step by step manual. It's written for guys, but applies equally to both genders. If everyone followed this sage advice, we wouldn't need agencies like DVRC. Thank you Gerald Rogers for this eloquent advice.

Talk About This on the Drive to College

I remember my parents driving me to my freshman year of college. Their rust colored  Fairmont was packed with everything I'd need from August to May. Dorm fridge, bike, Apple IIe computer with dot matrix printer (no compact laptops or tablets- it was about the size of the dorm fridge), 5 pound dictionary, shorts and tank tops, winter boots and coats...everything! I barely fit in the back seat.I had 8 hours on the ride to D.C. to ponder what college would be like, and if I'd ever be able to stand straight again after being contorted around all my belongings for so long. We sang along with 8-track tapes of the Carpenters and Barry Manilow, talked about what I may have forgotten  and whether I'd be able to resume my waitress job at Hoffman's Restaurant when I returned in the summer (I'd been there two years and that job was paying for college). We talked about the exciting changes and the importance of doing my very best, but we didn't talk about:
  • how scary this big change was for me... and for my parents as their only child moved so far away
  • my cat. She was a gorgeous grey Persian who had been my constant  companion since I was 8 years old...and she was decidedly a one person  cat. I wondered how I'd survive without my closet companion and my mom wondered how she'd even get Missy to come to her to be fed (but cats are practical, they'll tolerate you if you're the only one who can use the can opener), and 
  • sexual assault.
One in four college women are sexually assaulted during their college years. About 1/3 are freshmen. In fact the period from orientation to Thanksgiving is the Red Zone on campuses.Talk to your daughter or son about sexual assault. Talk to him/her about the correlation between alcohol use and sexual assault. And talk about what the options and resources are after an assault. It's a difficult topic, but open those lines of communication now. Here's what you need to know to have that talk.

Related posts:
Whatyou need to know after a sexual assault
http://maggiefronk.blogspot.com/2013/04/sole-survivor.html

Sexual assualt facts
http://maggiefronk.blogspot.com/2012/04/sexual-assault-its-not-very-common-is.html






Talk About This on the Drive to College

I remember my parents driving me to my freshman year of college. Their rust colored  Fairmont was packed with everything I'd need from August to May. Dorm fridge, bike, Apple IIe computer with dot matrix printer (no compact laptops or tablets- it was about the size of the dorm fridge), 5 pound dictionary, shorts and tank tops, winter boots and coats...everything! I barely fit in the back seat.I had 8 hours on the ride to D.C. to ponder what college would be like, and if I'd ever be able to stand straight again after being contorted around all my belongings for so long. We sang along with 8-track tapes of the Carpenters and Barry Manilow, talked about what I may have forgotten  and whether I'd be able to resume my waitress job at Hoffman's Restaurant when I returned in the summer (I'd been there two years and that job was paying for college). We talked about the exciting changes and the importance of doing my very best, but we didn't talk about:
  • how scary this big change was for me... and for my parents as their only child moved so far away
  • my cat. She was a gorgeous grey Persian who had been my constant  companion since I was 8 years old...and she was decidedly a one person  cat. I wondered how I'd survive without my closet companion and my mom wondered how she'd even get Missy to come to her to be fed (but cats are practical, they'll tolerate you if you're the only one who can use the can opener), and 
  • sexual assault.
One in four college women are sexually assaulted during their college years. About 1/3 are freshmen. In fact the period from orientation to Thanksgiving is the Red Zone on campuses.Talk to your daughter or son about sexual assault. Talk to him/her about the correlation between alcohol use and sexual assault. And talk about what the options and resources are after an assault. It's a difficult topic, but open those lines of communication now. Here's what you need to know to have that talk.

Related posts:
Whatyou need to know after a sexual assault
http://maggiefronk.blogspot.com/2013/04/sole-survivor.html

Sexual assualt facts
http://maggiefronk.blogspot.com/2012/04/sexual-assault-its-not-very-common-is.html






Two Local Kids Died in Two Weeks… and You ‘d Never Imagine Why

The article calls it Suburbia's Deadly Secret. This happened just 15 miles and four turns off I-87, in a suburban community in Rensselaer County. As the writer describes the landscaped flower beds, local stores and backyards with pools where neighbors socialize, this could be almost any community in Saratoga County. You know these kids too, or a kid who looks just like them. The 23 year old who died in July, staggered into a Stewart’s Shop as locals were having their morning coffee.  Just a couple of years before, he  played sports, was a Boy Scout and an "All American kid.' The mom of 2 other kids says, " “My kids were each the average child. They played baseball, my daughter did bowling, we went on family vacations. I went to all the school meetings like parents do.” Sound familiar?

So what is the one threat you'd never imagine would be creeping into our local suburban communities and threatening our teens and young adults- it’s  HEROIN. On her talk show Katie Couric said that “thirty-four thousand kids between the ages of 12 and 17 will start using heroin this year. Over the last 10 years, teen heroin use has increased 80 percent from coast to coast.” Rensselaer County District Attorney Rich McNallysays, “ You’ve got to be aware of the change in the culture, the availability of things kids get high on. It’s everywhere, and you’ve got to know about it.” 

Really?! What’s going on here? Teens are increasingly experimenting with OTC and prescription drugs (heck, the Internet has plenty of articles offering advice on how to get high with what’s in mom and dad’s medicine cabinet.) When that thrill fades, snorting heroin is a cheap next step. And it seems heroin is no longer only in the realm of the inner city, drug culture… it’s moving to the burbs.


What’s the take away for parents?  Even good kids can get mixed up in things beyond their control. Our increasingly mobile society is breaking down barriers quicker than ever seen before. You are the biggest influence in your kid’s life; talk to them about drugs and keep those lines of communications open. This is one fad we don’t want to see gaining momentum. 

Two Local Kids Died in Two Weeks… and You ‘d Never Imagine Why

The article calls it Suburbia's Deadly Secret. This happened just 15 miles and four turns off I-87, in a suburban community in Rensselaer County. As the writer describes the landscaped flower beds, local stores and backyards with pools where neighbors socialize, this could be almost any community in Saratoga County. You know these kids too, or a kid who looks just like them. The 23 year old who died in July, staggered into a Stewart’s Shop as locals were having their morning coffee.  Just a couple of years before, he  played sports, was a Boy Scout and an "All American kid.' The mom of 2 other kids says, " “My kids were each the average child. They played baseball, my daughter did bowling, we went on family vacations. I went to all the school meetings like parents do.” Sound familiar?

So what is the one threat you'd never imagine would be creeping into our local suburban communities and threatening our teens and young adults- it’s  HEROIN. On her talk show Katie Couric said that “thirty-four thousand kids between the ages of 12 and 17 will start using heroin this year. Over the last 10 years, teen heroin use has increased 80 percent from coast to coast.” Rensselaer County District Attorney Rich McNallysays, “ You’ve got to be aware of the change in the culture, the availability of things kids get high on. It’s everywhere, and you’ve got to know about it.” 

Really?! What’s going on here? Teens are increasingly experimenting with OTC and prescription drugs (heck, the Internet has plenty of articles offering advice on how to get high with what’s in mom and dad’s medicine cabinet.) When that thrill fades, snorting heroin is a cheap next step. And it seems heroin is no longer only in the realm of the inner city, drug culture… it’s moving to the burbs.


What’s the take away for parents?  Even good kids can get mixed up in things beyond their control. Our increasingly mobile society is breaking down barriers quicker than ever seen before. You are the biggest influence in your kid’s life; talk to them about drugs and keep those lines of communications open. This is one fad we don’t want to see gaining momentum. 

Back to School 101- Bullying

Bullying. It's a big issue. 74% of 8-11 year olds say bullying happens in their schools. It's in the news all the time...from the positive (e.g., the Dignity for All Students Act and  the 'Be an Ally' campaigns to encourage us all to stand up and speak up) to the negative (e.g, girl on girl bullying and cyberbullying.)

What do you need to know?

  • How can you tell is your child is affected by bullying? Here's an article that covers all you need to look for, 14 Signs that Your Child is Bullied or Being  a Bully.  
  • This is a normal part of growing up... like all stages, this too will pass, right? Nor really. Studies show that the behavior patterns we learn as children tend to 'grow up' with us as we assume more adult relationships. So for both victims and kids with bullying behaviors, there's a greater incidence of dating violence, relationship abuse and sexual violence later in life. 
  • Bullying behaviors may be a gateway to criminal behavior? Wow...that's a reason to take it seriously.  According to the aforementioned 14 signs  article, Some consider adolescent bullying a “gateway” criminal behavior. According to the National Education Association’s position statement on Bullying and Harassment, “Boys identified as bullies in grades six through nine had one criminal conviction by age 24. Forty percent of those identified had three or more arrests by age 30. Bullies are at even greater risk of suicide than their targets. Bullies often grow up to perpetuate family violence.” 
What can you do?
The National Crime Prevention Council has these tips for parents if their child is bullied or is showing bullying behaviors.

Back to School 101- Bullying

Bullying. It's a big issue. 74% of 8-11 year olds say bullying happens in their schools. It's in the news all the time...from the positive (e.g., the Dignity for All Students Act and  the 'Be an Ally' campaigns to encourage us all to stand up and speak up) to the negative (e.g, girl on girl bullying and cyberbullying.)

What do you need to know?

  • How can you tell is your child is affected by bullying? Here's an article that covers all you need to look for, 14 Signs that Your Child is Bullied or Being  a Bully.  
  • This is a normal part of growing up... like all stages, this too will pass, right? Nor really. Studies show that the behavior patterns we learn as children tend to 'grow up' with us as we assume more adult relationships. So for both victims and kids with bullying behaviors, there's a greater incidence of dating violence, relationship abuse and sexual violence later in life. 
  • Bullying behaviors may be a gateway to criminal behavior? Wow...that's a reason to take it seriously.  According to the aforementioned 14 signs  article, Some consider adolescent bullying a “gateway” criminal behavior. According to the National Education Association’s position statement on Bullying and Harassment, “Boys identified as bullies in grades six through nine had one criminal conviction by age 24. Forty percent of those identified had three or more arrests by age 30. Bullies are at even greater risk of suicide than their targets. Bullies often grow up to perpetuate family violence.” 
What can you do?
The National Crime Prevention Council has these tips for parents if their child is bullied or is showing bullying behaviors.

23 + 22 = 121 That’s Right!

Before anyone questions my second grade teacher's abilities, I rocked at math. So what's with the unbalanced equation? We're just  missing some words . Let's try this:

23 business women + 22 minutes= 121 backpacks

That makes more sense.


Today, 23 women from the Chamber of Southern Saratoga County's Women in Business (WIB) Committee  collected  supplies to fill 121 Backpacks of Hope to assist families receiving support  from Domestic Violence and Rape Crisis Services of Saratoga County.
 
 

 

"The Chamber of Southern Saratoga County Women in Business Committee strives to help women both professionally and personally. Supporting DVRC with both Baskets of Hope and Backpacks of Hope every year has been a great partnership – a way we can leverage our connections in the community to gather and provide items DVRC clients so greatly need - and a way we as women feel good about supporting each other. It has also been a fantastic way to bring much needed awareness to this important issue." Wendy Wilms of Cengage Learning and Chair of the WIB.

When  domestic violence  survivors leave the abusive home, they often struggle just trying to provide for their families' basic needs (rent, food, health care.) September can bring overwhelming financial demands as they need to purchase school supplies for one or several children. That's why the WIB has sponsored the Backpacks of Hope project for several years, collecting school supplies  to be distributed by DVRC so that families can focus on what important... building a new life so their children can live in a home without fear and violence.
 
 

"Imagine the trauma of leaving an abusive home with none of your personal items as well as no money and your child needs back to school supplies. With the help of many who gather supplies, giving back to the communities that they live and work in, these children get to go to school with a backpack full of supplies, being able  to just be a kid, without feeling different!" Mary E. Stokes, Stokes Wealth Solutions and WIB member


 

This year, the group assembled 121 backpacks for distribution. The WIB is impressive not only for how much they care, but also how efficient they are. it took just 22 minutes from the moment these women walked in with bags filled with assorted school supplies, to sorting, filling and loading the backpacks up for DVRC to distribute. Those 22 minutes will make such a difference for families struggling to break free from abuse.

If you're interested in helping, it's not too late. You can drop your donations off at the Chamber of Southern Saratoga County located at  15 Park Ave., Ste. 7, Clifton Park.


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