Wellspring - Ending relationship and sexual abuse in Saratoga County


News & Events

A Harvard prof’s class for you right now– no tuition required

Tuesday is Good News Day

Got  just 2 minutes during the next 21 days?

In just 2 minutes a day, this technique can elicit improved performance on all key business outcomes.
  • The same brain-- your brain-- is 31% more positive when it's in this state.
  • Doctors are 18% faster an more accurate with diagnoses.
  • Salespeople are 37% more effective at sales.
This state can turn on all the learning centers in your brain.

While  this may sound like the lead-in to a late night infomercial, don't panic, no need to run and lock up the credit cards.

It's about rewiring your brain to scan for positive rather than negative... scanning for success and happiness. Sound too touchy feely? Maybe, but it's based on science. In fact this Ted Talk Shawn Anchor, who teaches the most sought after class at Harvard University, explains how to improve  your life . And if that Harvard gig ever flops, within seconds of viewing the video you'll see right away that Anchor's got a fall back career option option doing stand-up.

He details the action plan at 12:17. So if you want to study along with all those Harvard students  the quick notes version is below, but the real learning comes from hearing Shawn speak. And a passing test score means a better, more successful, happy life.


Create positive lasting change:
3 Gratitudes
Journal about something positive
Exercise
Meditation


Positive Acts of Kindness





(Need more inspiration to actually put the concepts into practice? Here's the story of what happened when 3 college-aged men watch Anchor's Ted talk and decided to do one sweet random act of kindness.)





A Harvard prof’s class for you right now– no tuition required

Tuesday is Good News Day

Got  just 2 minutes during the next 21 days?

In just 2 minutes a day, this technique can elicit improved performance on all key business outcomes.
  • The same brain-- your brain-- is 31% more positive when it's in this state.
  • Doctors are 18% faster an more accurate with diagnoses.
  • Salespeople are 37% more effective at sales.
This state can turn on all the learning centers in your brain.

While  this may sound like the lead-in to a late night infomercial, don't panic, no need to run and lock up the credit cards.

It's about rewiring your brain to scan for positive rather than negative... scanning for success and happiness. Sound too touchy feely? Maybe, but it's based on science. In fact this Ted Talk Shawn Anchor, who teaches the most sought after class at Harvard University, explains how to improve  your life . And if that Harvard gig ever flops, within seconds of viewing the video you'll see right away that Anchor's got a fall back career option option doing stand-up.

He details the action plan at 12:17. So if you want to study along with all those Harvard students  the quick notes version is below, but the real learning comes from hearing Shawn speak. And a passing test score means a better, more successful, happy life.


Create positive lasting change:
3 Gratitudes
Journal about something positive
Exercise
Meditation


Positive Acts of Kindness





(Need more inspiration to actually put the concepts into practice? Here's the story of what happened when 3 college-aged men watch Anchor's Ted talk and decided to do one sweet random act of kindness.)





A Harvard prof’s class for you right now– no tuition required

Tuesday is Good News Day

Got  just 2 minutes during the next 21 days?

In just 2 minutes a day, this technique can elicit improved performance on all key business outcomes.
  • The same brain-- your brain-- is 31% more positive when it's in this state.
  • Doctors are 18% faster an more accurate with diagnoses.
  • Salespeople are 37% more effective at sales.
This state can turn on all the learning centers in your brain.

While  this may sound like the lead-in to a late night infomercial, don't panic, no need to run and lock up the credit cards.

It's about rewiring your brain to scan for positive rather than negative... scanning for success and happiness. Sound too touchy feely? Maybe, but it's based on science. In fact this Ted Talk Shawn Anchor, who teaches the most sought after class at Harvard University, explains how to improve  your life . And if that Harvard gig ever flops, within seconds of viewing the video you'll see right away that Anchor's got a fall back career option option doing stand-up.

He details the action plan at 12:17. So if you want to study along with all those Harvard students  the quick notes version is below, but the real learning comes from hearing Shawn speak. And a passing test score means a better, more successful, happy life.


Create positive lasting change:
3 Gratitudes
Journal about something positive
Exercise
Meditation


Positive Acts of Kindness





(Need more inspiration to actually put the concepts into practice? Here's the story of what happened when 3 college-aged men watch Anchor's Ted talk and decided to do one sweet random act of kindness.)





The Video Replay That Changed Everything

Probably the most talked about opening season play didn't happen on the gridiron.
 
My family has been buzzing about the Giant's game tonight, but across the country football fans aren't taking about an opening kick off, but about an ending-- namely the Ravens terminating Ray Rice after video of his brutal attack of his then fiancée became public. Sports commentators (who aren't generally a fragile or easily rattled types) saw the video today and are using words like: brutal, horrendous, disturbing and gruesome. Kyle Flood, football coach at Rice's alma mater, Rutgers University, said, ""There is nothing that can justify what I saw on that video."


 
While the NFL was late to the game in taking this incident seriously, they're stepping up. They're also accurately sighting down the field to the true cause of the attack as well as  the solution.:
  •  The cause? It's not about couples counseling, or mediation, or consideration of whatever actions by Rice's fiancée may have preceded the attack; it's about Rice's conscious decision, the choice he made,  to hammer his fist into her face. 
  • The solution? Firm policies connecting off field behaviors to the Code of Conduct and the League's image and credibility. And clear consequences for violating the ethical code.
I'm still left with questions:
  • Before making the original 2 game suspension video, the NFL said it had seen footage from inside the elevator, but today said this was new video. It's a big jump from a 'one time incident' to a 'brutal attack'. I know the NFL has met with advocates and seriously listened and learned about relationship and sexual abuse. But could they have viewed a brutal assault just weeks ago and had such a different reaction... or was this new video footage so different from what they'd watched before?
  • Players and coaches are stepping up as role models- talking about character on and off the field. How can we utilize their words and examples to  inspire and create change?  Let's make this a priority.
  • I wonder how many domestic violence victims are watching as a  complicated relationship plays out in the public? How many think about Janay, about how her life and her love have become  water cooler conversation across the country. How many are wondering what it's like  for her tonight as Rice's career and success, probably something he's dreamed about since he was a kid, have changed irreversibly. How many don't want to watch that video, because they know too well the feelings of fear, anger, confusion as the fist of someone you love barrels toward your face. How many keep their own suffering private, don't tell anyone, and would do anything to avoid the exposure Janay is enduring now. I've chosen not to view the video.  I truly believe that the NFL's decision (albeit belated) to take a serious stance against relationship and sexual violence will have a ripple effect that will be a catalyst for change, not just in sports,  but cutting across all aspects of our society. Yet as a victim advocate, I'm also acutely aware, that we've had to peer into one woman's darkest hour, without her permission, to find this catalyst.


 

The Video Replay That Changed Everything

Probably the most talked about opening season play didn't happen on the gridiron.
 
My family has been buzzing about the Giant's game tonight, but across the country football fans aren't taking about an opening kick off, but about an ending-- namely the Ravens terminating Ray Rice after video of his brutal attack of his then fiancée became public. Sports commentators (who aren't generally a fragile or easily rattled types) saw the video today and are using words like: brutal, horrendous, disturbing and gruesome. Kyle Flood, football coach at Rice's alma mater, Rutgers University, said, ""There is nothing that can justify what I saw on that video."


 
While the NFL was late to the game in taking this incident seriously, they're stepping up. They're also accurately sighting down the field to the true cause of the attack as well as  the solution.:
  •  The cause? It's not about couples counseling, or mediation, or consideration of whatever actions by Rice's fiancée may have preceded the attack; it's about Rice's conscious decision, the choice he made,  to hammer his fist into her face. 
  • The solution? Firm policies connecting off field behaviors to the Code of Conduct and the League's image and credibility. And clear consequences for violating the ethical code.
I'm still left with questions:
  • Before making the original 2 game suspension video, the NFL said it had seen footage from inside the elevator, but today said this was new video. It's a big jump from a 'one time incident' to a 'brutal attack'. I know the NFL has met with advocates and seriously listened and learned about relationship and sexual abuse. But could they have viewed a brutal assault just weeks ago and had such a different reaction... or was this new video footage so different from what they'd watched before?
  • Players and coaches are stepping up as role models- talking about character on and off the field. How can we utilize their words and examples to  inspire and create change?  Let's make this a priority.
  • I wonder how many domestic violence victims are watching as a  complicated relationship plays out in the public? How many think about Janay, about how her life and her love have become  water cooler conversation across the country. How many are wondering what it's like  for her tonight as Rice's career and success, probably something he's dreamed about since he was a kid, have changed irreversibly. How many don't want to watch that video, because they know too well the feelings of fear, anger, confusion as the fist of someone you love barrels toward your face. How many keep their own suffering private, don't tell anyone, and would do anything to avoid the exposure Janay is enduring now. I've chosen not to view the video.  I truly believe that the NFL's decision (albeit belated) to take a serious stance against relationship and sexual violence will have a ripple effect that will be a catalyst for change, not just in sports,  but cutting across all aspects of our society. Yet as a victim advocate, I'm also acutely aware, that we've had to peer into one woman's darkest hour, without her permission, to find this catalyst.


 

"Rape is a crime without consequence — except for the victim,”




Six out of 10 rape victims don't report rape. 
The vast majority of rapists never sped a single night in jail.


Scott Berkowitz, president of RAINN (Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network) spoke before the  Senate Judiciary Committee about how to fix a system that stigmatizes and re-traumatizes victims, yet rarely holds offenders accountable. Without consequences sexual predators are  commit more assaults. 





More and more, from college campuses, to courtrooms to  military judicial proceedings, we're wrestling with the biases, misconceptions, and inadequacies of our society's ability to effectively prosecute sexual violence. At least the public is increasingly aware of how much we're falling short in providing even a measure of justice for victims, but we've got a long way to go to fix our justice system.

Berkowitz pointed to just how ineffective our court system is at responding to rape, "In America today, rape is a crime without consequences--except for the victim."

Today I read a news article that highlighted a baffling example of unexpected consequences for a statutory rape victim. Almost a decade after the sexual violation, the rape has insinuated itself into his life again... and drained his bank account.

"Rape is a crime without consequence — except for the victim,”




Six out of 10 rape victims don't report rape. 
The vast majority of rapists never sped a single night in jail.


Scott Berkowitz, president of RAINN (Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network) spoke before the  Senate Judiciary Committee about how to fix a system that stigmatizes and re-traumatizes victims, yet rarely holds offenders accountable. Without consequences sexual predators are  commit more assaults. 





More and more, from college campuses, to courtrooms to  military judicial proceedings, we're wrestling with the biases, misconceptions, and inadequacies of our society's ability to effectively prosecute sexual violence. At least the public is increasingly aware of how much we're falling short in providing even a measure of justice for victims, but we've got a long way to go to fix our justice system.

Berkowitz pointed to just how ineffective our court system is at responding to rape, "In America today, rape is a crime without consequences--except for the victim."

Today I read a news article that highlighted a baffling example of unexpected consequences for a statutory rape victim. Almost a decade after the sexual violation, the rape has insinuated itself into his life again... and drained his bank account.

Why is that Girl Carrying a Mattress?

Emma Sulkowicz carrying her mattress around campusOn her first day of her sophomore year Emma was raped...in her dorm ... in her own bed.  She didn't report it, but later found that the same person had also raped two other women. The victims tell us they feel the university discourages them from reporting. One study of college campuses indicates that men on campus who are perpetrators are most often repeat offenders, averaging  6 sexual assaults.


But back to Emma- She tells us that when she goes to sleep in her bed at night, she doesn't sleep peacefully because she's lying in the same place she was raped. When she gets up and goes to classes she doesn't feel safe either because he assailant is still on campus. He'll be sitting in the bleacher's with her when she graduates.The campus judicial board (like many) wasn't trained in investigating sexual assault, the person taking notes on Emma's report missed facts, and the judiciary committee did not have information about the other women who reported that he had also raped them. That rape changed Emma's whole college experience:


"Every day I'm afraid of leaving my room."
"As long as he's on campus with me he can continue to harass me."

Emma carries what happened to her that night with her everywhere, everyday on campus...For her senior thesis she's developed a project to show everyone what it's like to carry this with her.

We have to do more to prevent campus rape, to support victims, and to hold offenders accountable.

"As many as 1 in 4 women
are sexually assaulted in college.
Most people think
 zero sexual assaults reported
 on campus is a good thing...
actually that should be a red flag." 
Julie Zelinger

Why is that Girl Carrying a Mattress?

Emma Sulkowicz carrying her mattress around campusOn her first day of her sophomore year Emma was raped...in her dorm ... in her own bed.  She didn't report it, but later found that the same person had also raped two other women. The victims tell us they feel the university discourages them from reporting. One study of college campuses indicates that men on campus who are perpetrators are most often repeat offenders, averaging  6 sexual assaults.


But back to Emma- She tells us that when she goes to sleep in her bed at night, she doesn't sleep peacefully because she's lying in the same place she was raped. When she gets up and goes to classes she doesn't feel safe either because he assailant is still on campus. He'll be sitting in the bleacher's with her when she graduates.The campus judicial board (like many) wasn't trained in investigating sexual assault, the person taking notes on Emma's report missed facts, and the judiciary committee did not have information about the other women who reported that he had also raped them. That rape changed Emma's whole college experience:


"Every day I'm afraid of leaving my room."
"As long as he's on campus with me he can continue to harass me."

Emma carries what happened to her that night with her everywhere, everyday on campus...For her senior thesis she's developed a project to show everyone what it's like to carry this with her.

We have to do more to prevent campus rape, to support victims, and to hold offenders accountable.

"As many as 1 in 4 women
are sexually assaulted in college.
Most people think
 zero sexual assaults reported
 on campus is a good thing...
actually that should be a red flag." 
Julie Zelinger


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