Wellspring - Ending relationship and sexual abuse in Saratoga County


News & Events

Sowing Seeds to Start a Conversation about Relationship Abuse


I planted my garden about 10 days ago. While everyone else is complaining miserably about the rain, I’m a little excited (especially when it rains during the week not on the weekend) as I’m sure that with the moisture all my seeds have germinated and probably new shoots are pushing up through the soil right now.  Gardening from seeds takes patience and trust to give the sun time to warm the soil, the seedling time to take root and simply time to grow.  While I don’t like the wait, over the years I’ve come to appreciate the process and accept that I can’t always control the outcome. Like last year’s abundant squash patch that seemingly overnight was decimated by powdery mildew.

Sometimes these small scale dramas in the garden, remind me of the much more significant struggles people face when someone they love is experiencing domestic violence. Often the victim of abuse doesn’t recognize the behaviors his/her partner’s actions as abusive… especially we when the abuse isn’t physical.  Sometimes just talking to your loved one and letting them know you’re concerned is like planting that seed. They may seem to totally ignore your words, but like the week of straight rain we just endured that helps my seeds germinate, under the right conditions your words may begin to root.

The decision to seek support is rarely immediate. Here are some of the reasons people give for not seeking help:

·         “It’s not that bad.” Often this is followed by words like, “It’s rarely physical” or “It’s nothing like I’ve seen in the movies” or “He/she always apologizes and says it won’t happen again.”

·         “It’s not a crisis, I don’t need to call a hotline.”

·         “I wouldn’t feel right calling a place like Wellspring. Other people need their help so much more than I do.”

·         “I really don’t see any way out.” Or “I’m not ready to make a change yet. I’ll call them when that time comes.”

·         It’s not that I’m afraid of my partner; I just have to do a better job not aggravating him/her.”

·         “They help domestic violence victims… I’m not a victim.” Often the person will explain, that they’re occasionally abusive too, e.g., “Sometimes I yell or call him/her awful names… and I’ve hit back so I’m just as guilty of abuse.”  

If you’ve heard any of these statements, here’s what I’d like you to know, so you have the words to help your friend:

You don’t need to be in a crisis. You don’t need to be in danger or living in fear. You don’t need to wait in until a crisis where you don’t have anywhere else to turn before you call us… in fact, at Wellspring, we hope that calling us sooner may mean you never experience that crisis. We so often hear survivors saying, “I used to always feel like I was walking on eggshells at home.” Yes, they kept the abuse from escalating… by continually living in a state of hyper-vigilance. Our agency is a place where you can talk about these feelings. We can help you create a safety plan, but we can also be a safe place where you give voice to those feelings you don’t speak out loud… maybe not even to yourself. Our services are free and confidential… and they’re for everyone. There’s no income eligibly guidelines for our services.

You don’t need to be preparing to leave to seek our services. In fact, we have many survivors who remain in the relationship. They come to us to understand how to increase their safety, to know what their legal rights/ options/resources are if needed, or to build their economic stability or support systems so even if they’re remaining in the relationship they’re not doing so because they feel trapped. Many people understand that we offer a hotline and shelter, but they’re unaware of the other services we offer: financial literacy training to support economic stability, rent subsidized housing, legal advocacy, 911 phones, and assistance with accessing employment, childcare, housing, transportation, or other basic needs. Because it takes time to be on solid ground financially after leaving abuse, supports like our food pantry, personal care items, Backpacks of Hope (school supplies to start the new year) and New Beginnings Baskets (filled with necessary household items) can help survivors make a fresh start or support them until they finally feel stable and secure.

Survivors may judge their own reactions, verbal or physical as indicators that they too are abusive. Some relationships are indeed mutually abusive. But in domestic violence there is an underlying power and control dynamic. Does that mean the victim is always cowering, helplessly… no. Survivors may, in defense, frustration or anger, lash out sometimes. To determine if domestic violence exists one needs to ask is there an ongoing pattern of control, either through emotional, psychological, physical, or financial abuse, or social isolation. It’s the pattern of power and control… not necessarily an isolated behavior.

 So if the examples above sound like behaviors you recognize in the relationship, call us. If you weren’t sure how to talk to someone you love about domestic violence, hopefully this information will help you start the conversation.  Sometimes hearing someone say, “I care and I’m worried” plants a seed that in time leads to a future without fear. If you’re not sure how to talk to someone about relationship abuse, call us --we can help you understand, know about resources and start the conversation.
 
If you or someone you know has experienced relationship or sexual abuse, call us.
Office 518.583.0280
24/7 hotline 518.584.8188
 

Sowing Seeds to Start a Conversation about Relationship Abuse


I planted my garden about 10 days ago. While everyone else is complaining miserably about the rain, I’m a little excited (especially when it rains during the week not on the weekend) as I’m sure that with the moisture all my seeds have germinated and probably new shoots are pushing up through the soil right now.  Gardening from seeds takes patience and trust to give the sun time to warm the soil, the seedling time to take root and simply time to grow.  While I don’t like the wait, over the years I’ve come to appreciate the process and accept that I can’t always control the outcome. Like last year’s abundant squash patch that seemingly overnight was decimated by powdery mildew.

Sometimes these small scale dramas in the garden, remind me of the much more significant struggles people face when someone they love is experiencing domestic violence. Often the victim of abuse doesn’t recognize the behaviors his/her partner’s actions as abusive… especially we when the abuse isn’t physical.  Sometimes just talking to your loved one and letting them know you’re concerned is like planting that seed. They may seem to totally ignore your words, but like the week of straight rain we just endured that helps my seeds germinate, under the right conditions your words may begin to root.

The decision to seek support is rarely immediate. Here are some of the reasons people give for not seeking help:

·         “It’s not that bad.” Often this is followed by words like, “It’s rarely physical” or “It’s nothing like I’ve seen in the movies” or “He/she always apologizes and says it won’t happen again.”

·         “It’s not a crisis, I don’t need to call a hotline.”

·         “I wouldn’t feel right calling a place like Wellspring. Other people need their help so much more than I do.”

·         “I really don’t see any way out.” Or “I’m not ready to make a change yet. I’ll call them when that time comes.”

·         It’s not that I’m afraid of my partner; I just have to do a better job not aggravating him/her.”

·         “They help domestic violence victims… I’m not a victim.” Often the person will explain, that they’re occasionally abusive too, e.g., “Sometimes I yell or call him/her awful names… and I’ve hit back so I’m just as guilty of abuse.”  

If you’ve heard any of these statements, here’s what I’d like you to know, so you have the words to help your friend:

You don’t need to be in a crisis. You don’t need to be in danger or living in fear. You don’t need to wait in until a crisis where you don’t have anywhere else to turn before you call us… in fact, at Wellspring, we hope that calling us sooner may mean you never experience that crisis. We so often hear survivors saying, “I used to always feel like I was walking on eggshells at home.” Yes, they kept the abuse from escalating… by continually living in a state of hyper-vigilance. Our agency is a place where you can talk about these feelings. We can help you create a safety plan, but we can also be a safe place where you give voice to those feelings you don’t speak out loud… maybe not even to yourself. Our services are free and confidential… and they’re for everyone. There’s no income eligibly guidelines for our services.

You don’t need to be preparing to leave to seek our services. In fact, we have many survivors who remain in the relationship. They come to us to understand how to increase their safety, to know what their legal rights/ options/resources are if needed, or to build their economic stability or support systems so even if they’re remaining in the relationship they’re not doing so because they feel trapped. Many people understand that we offer a hotline and shelter, but they’re unaware of the other services we offer: financial literacy training to support economic stability, rent subsidized housing, legal advocacy, 911 phones, and assistance with accessing employment, childcare, housing, transportation, or other basic needs. Because it takes time to be on solid ground financially after leaving abuse, supports like our food pantry, personal care items, Backpacks of Hope (school supplies to start the new year) and New Beginnings Baskets (filled with necessary household items) can help survivors make a fresh start or support them until they finally feel stable and secure.

Survivors may judge their own reactions, verbal or physical as indicators that they too are abusive. Some relationships are indeed mutually abusive. But in domestic violence there is an underlying power and control dynamic. Does that mean the victim is always cowering, helplessly… no. Survivors may, in defense, frustration or anger, lash out sometimes. To determine if domestic violence exists one needs to ask is there an ongoing pattern of control, either through emotional, psychological, physical, or financial abuse, or social isolation. It’s the pattern of power and control… not necessarily an isolated behavior.

 So if the examples above sound like behaviors you recognize in the relationship, call us. If you weren’t sure how to talk to someone you love about domestic violence, hopefully this information will help you start the conversation.  Sometimes hearing someone say, “I care and I’m worried” plants a seed that in time leads to a future without fear. If you’re not sure how to talk to someone about relationship abuse, call us --we can help you understand, know about resources and start the conversation.
 
If you or someone you know has experienced relationship or sexual abuse, call us.
Office 518.583.0280
24/7 hotline 518.584.8188
 

Sowing Seeds to Start a Conversation about Relationship Abuse


I planted my garden about 10 days ago. While everyone else is complaining miserably about the rain, I’m a little excited (especially when it rains during the week not on the weekend) as I’m sure that with the moisture all my seeds have germinated and probably new shoots are pushing up through the soil right now.  Gardening from seeds takes patience and trust to give the sun time to warm the soil, the seedling time to take root and simply time to grow.  While I don’t like the wait, over the years I’ve come to appreciate the process and accept that I can’t always control the outcome. Like last year’s abundant squash patch that seemingly overnight was decimated by powdery mildew.

Sometimes these small scale dramas in the garden, remind me of the much more significant struggles people face when someone they love is experiencing domestic violence. Often the victim of abuse doesn’t recognize the behaviors his/her partner’s actions as abusive… especially we when the abuse isn’t physical.  Sometimes just talking to your loved one and letting them know you’re concerned is like planting that seed. They may seem to totally ignore your words, but like the week of straight rain we just endured that helps my seeds germinate, under the right conditions your words may begin to root.

The decision to seek support is rarely immediate. Here are some of the reasons people give for not seeking help:

·         “It’s not that bad.” Often this is followed by words like, “It’s rarely physical” or “It’s nothing like I’ve seen in the movies” or “He/she always apologizes and says it won’t happen again.”

·         “It’s not a crisis, I don’t need to call a hotline.”

·         “I wouldn’t feel right calling a place like Wellspring. Other people need their help so much more than I do.”

·         “I really don’t see any way out.” Or “I’m not ready to make a change yet. I’ll call them when that time comes.”

·         It’s not that I’m afraid of my partner; I just have to do a better job not aggravating him/her.”

·         “They help domestic violence victims… I’m not a victim.” Often the person will explain, that they’re occasionally abusive too, e.g., “Sometimes I yell or call him/her awful names… and I’ve hit back so I’m just as guilty of abuse.”  

If you’ve heard any of these statements, here’s what I’d like you to know, so you have the words to help your friend:

You don’t need to be in a crisis. You don’t need to be in danger or living in fear. You don’t need to wait in until a crisis where you don’t have anywhere else to turn before you call us… in fact, at Wellspring, we hope that calling us sooner may mean you never experience that crisis. We so often hear survivors saying, “I used to always feel like I was walking on eggshells at home.” Yes, they kept the abuse from escalating… by continually living in a state of hyper-vigilance. Our agency is a place where you can talk about these feelings. We can help you create a safety plan, but we can also be a safe place where you give voice to those feelings you don’t speak out loud… maybe not even to yourself. Our services are free and confidential… and they’re for everyone. There’s no income eligibly guidelines for our services.

You don’t need to be preparing to leave to seek our services. In fact, we have many survivors who remain in the relationship. They come to us to understand how to increase their safety, to know what their legal rights/ options/resources are if needed, or to build their economic stability or support systems so even if they’re remaining in the relationship they’re not doing so because they feel trapped. Many people understand that we offer a hotline and shelter, but they’re unaware of the other services we offer: financial literacy training to support economic stability, rent subsidized housing, legal advocacy, 911 phones, and assistance with accessing employment, childcare, housing, transportation, or other basic needs. Because it takes time to be on solid ground financially after leaving abuse, supports like our food pantry, personal care items, Backpacks of Hope (school supplies to start the new year) and New Beginnings Baskets (filled with necessary household items) can help survivors make a fresh start or support them until they finally feel stable and secure.

Survivors may judge their own reactions, verbal or physical as indicators that they too are abusive. Some relationships are indeed mutually abusive. But in domestic violence there is an underlying power and control dynamic. Does that mean the victim is always cowering, helplessly… no. Survivors may, in defense, frustration or anger, lash out sometimes. To determine if domestic violence exists one needs to ask is there an ongoing pattern of control, either through emotional, psychological, physical, or financial abuse, or social isolation. It’s the pattern of power and control… not necessarily an isolated behavior.

 So if the examples above sound like behaviors you recognize in the relationship, call us. If you weren’t sure how to talk to someone you love about domestic violence, hopefully this information will help you start the conversation.  Sometimes hearing someone say, “I care and I’m worried” plants a seed that in time leads to a future without fear. If you’re not sure how to talk to someone about relationship abuse, call us --we can help you understand, know about resources and start the conversation.
 
If you or someone you know has experienced relationship or sexual abuse, call us.
Office 518.583.0280
24/7 hotline 518.584.8188
 

The Wellspring Annual Report is Here

Thank You For Your Support
An annual report is always an opportunity to say thank you and to highlight accomplishments from the past year. The 2016 Annual Report does that – but it also highlights just how powerful the commitment of our community can be to ending relationship and sexual abuse through your support of things such as The Purple Purse Challenge, Girlfriends Helping Girlfriends, and the Pooch Parade.

Thank you for making 2016 such a powerful year for our clients and our community.
Click here to view our 2016 Annual Report

Soroptimist – The Gardens May be Secret, but the Club Is Getting Noticed

This seems to be a busy week for Soroptimist news. Yesterday I posted about their recent recognition at the Regional level for Project Hope and Power. And now  3 more exciting announcements!

Today I attended Saratoga Today's Women of Influence luncheon, where longtime Soroptimist Lyn Whaley  was honored for all she's done for our community:
  • her many leadership roles over the past 17 years in the Saratoga Springs School District
  • running a family business, Cudney's Cleaners that gives back so much to the community
  • her commitment to her faith community, and
  • of course her volunteerism and leadership in Soroptimist. On behalf of  all our Soroptimist club members, I can say we're  all proud of Lyn's accomplishments and delighted she's been recognized as a Woman of Influence.

Secret Gardens Trou 2017While most of us an only aspire to be as impactful as Lyn, here's a couple of easy ways we can all support women and girls. Soroptimist International of Saratoga County has been supporting Wellspring's mission since the founding of the agency. The Club's signature service project is a collaborative initiative with Wellspring, a financial literacy program, Project Hope and Power, that has benefited more than 600 women since 2005. Soroptimist provides financial support for Project Hope and Power, plus more than $45,000 to  other programs locally and globally  that benefit women and girls. They've got 2 great fundraisers coming up;  a  benefit book fair at Northshire Bookstore   and their Secret Garden Tour. So buy that book you've been thinking about and catch up on your summer reading or tour some wonderful local gardens... and help women and girls at the same time.

Soroptimist – The Gardens May be Secret, but the Club Is Getting Noticed

This seems to be a busy week for Soroptimist news. Yesterday I posted about their recent recognition at the Regional level for Project Hope and Power. And now  3 more exciting announcements!

Today I attended Saratoga Today's Women of Influence luncheon, where longtime Soroptimist Lyn Whaley  was honored for all she's done for our community:
  • her many leadership roles over the past 17 years in the Saratoga Springs School District
  • running a family business, Cudney's Cleaners that gives back so much to the community
  • her commitment to her faith community, and
  • of course her volunteerism and leadership in Soroptimist. On behalf of  all our Soroptimist club members, I can say we're  all proud of Lyn's accomplishments and delighted she's been recognized as a Woman of Influence.

Secret Gardens Trou 2017While most of us an only aspire to be as impactful as Lyn, here's a couple of easy ways we can all support women and girls. Soroptimist International of Saratoga County has been supporting Wellspring's mission since the founding of the agency. The Club's signature service project is a collaborative initiative with Wellspring, a financial literacy program, Project Hope and Power, that has benefited more than 600 women since 2005. Soroptimist provides financial support for Project Hope and Power, plus more than $45,000 to  other programs locally and globally  that benefit women and girls. They've got 2 great fundraisers coming up;  a  benefit book fair at Northshire Bookstore   and their Secret Garden Tour. So buy that book you've been thinking about and catch up on your summer reading or tour some wonderful local gardens... and help women and girls at the same time.

Giving Hope… Giving Power– That’s Soroptimist

I'm proud to have been a Soroptimist for the past 11 years. What's Soroptimist? It's an international service organization dedicated to  improving the lives of women and girls through programs leading to social and economic empowerment. Need a simpler explanation-- Soroptimist  promotes what's Best for  Women.

The Club quietly does really impressive work in our local community but also globally. This year alone the Club has provided more than $45,000 in project support to 22 organizations benefiting women and girls. Local organizations supported included: the Adult and Senior Center of Saratoga, Alcohol and Substance Abuse Prevention Council, Ballston Area Community Center, Bridging People and Places, Camp Abilities, Dance Alliance (MOVE), Fast Break Fund, Franklin Community Center, Habitat for Humanity, Jr Achievement, Literacy NENY, Rebuilding Together Saratoga County, Saratoga Center for the Family, Saratoga County EOC, Saratoga Foundation for Innovative Learning, Saratoga Regional YMCA, Saratoga War Horse, Shelters of Saratoga, Soul Saving Station, To Life! Inc., Wellspring, and Wilton Wildlife Preserve.
Project Hope and Power tri-chairs Maggie, Laurie and Alice with Club president Charlotte
displaying our 2017 Celebrating Success Award from the North Atlantic region
Like many local organizations, Soroptimist International of Saratoga County works tirelessly, but very quietly, fulfilling their mission without much fanfare. Their efforts don't go unnoticed though. Recently our Club was presented the North Atlantic Region's Celebrating Success Award for its exemplary work helping women achieve financial empowerment, through their signature service project, Project Hope and Power.  Today, more than 600 women have achieved housing, employment and improved financial stability by participating in Project Hope and Power.

Giving Hope… Giving Power– That’s Soroptimist

I'm proud to have been a Soroptimist for the past 11 years. What's Soroptimist? It's an international service organization dedicated to  improving the lives of women and girls through programs leading to social and economic empowerment. Need a simpler explanation-- Soroptimist  promotes what's Best for  Women.

The Club quietly does really impressive work in our local community but also globally. This year alone the Club has provided more than $45,000 in project support to 22 organizations benefiting women and girls. Local organizations supported included: the Adult and Senior Center of Saratoga, Alcohol and Substance Abuse Prevention Council, Ballston Area Community Center, Bridging People and Places, Camp Abilities, Dance Alliance (MOVE), Fast Break Fund, Franklin Community Center, Habitat for Humanity, Jr Achievement, Literacy NENY, Rebuilding Together Saratoga County, Saratoga Center for the Family, Saratoga County EOC, Saratoga Foundation for Innovative Learning, Saratoga Regional YMCA, Saratoga War Horse, Shelters of Saratoga, Soul Saving Station, To Life! Inc., Wellspring, and Wilton Wildlife Preserve.
Project Hope and Power tri-chairs Maggie, Laurie and Alice with Club president Charlotte
displaying our 2017 Celebrating Success Award from the North Atlantic region
Like many local organizations, Soroptimist International of Saratoga County works tirelessly, but very quietly, fulfilling their mission without much fanfare. Their efforts don't go unnoticed though. Recently our Club was presented the North Atlantic Region's Celebrating Success Award for its exemplary work helping women achieve financial empowerment, through their signature service project, Project Hope and Power.  Today, more than 600 women have achieved housing, employment and improved financial stability by participating in Project Hope and Power.

Tee off to Support TSA


One of my favorite things about working in this community is how intensively all our human service agencies collaborate. We address a range of social issues and human needs that at time can seem daunting... but by working together we maximize our resources to help the most people with limited funds. Because we work so closely, I'm blessed to experience firsthand every day the fine work of partner agencies.
 
With the warm weather finally here, I know many folks thoughts are returning to their golf game. So here's a chance to get back on the green... and support a nonprofit organization that offers assistance every day to some of our most vulnerable citizens.                           
 
For over 40 years, Transitional Services Association (TSA)  has provided a broad range of residential support and care management services to adults with psychiatric disabilities and/or substance use disorders, and abused & neglected children. Today, TSA is staffed by approximately 100 employees, and provides services to more than 400 clients in our community.  On September 11, 2017 TSA will hold its 7th Annual Golf Tournament, the proceeds of which will directly support and enhance our ability to provide recovery and support services to the people we serve.
 
I hear they've arranged for  excellent weather, so gather your foursome for a great day of golf while supporting TSA.